Author Archive for admin

The Pompatus of Covfefe

Some countries call him a cowboy, others call him a clown, but there is no doubt he has the patent on the Pompetus of Covfefe. This can only apply to one person. However, it was not always thus…

Some folks criticize the Prez for his misuse of language in general, and especially his slightly more incoherent than usual misuse of the word covfefe. Some radical conservatives, if they ever bothered to fact-check this word (and most of his psychotic ravings), the safe assumption being that they dare not ever fact-check, might be more than a little put out by this ultra-liberal, far-left utterance.

Covfefe is a derivative, originally from Druid, passed over to Celtic, down to Greek, up to Latin, and finally further up to Holland, where it lay virtually unused until the turn of the 20th century, and then only amongst the intelligentsia – surprised? The Scripps Spelling Bee has never used this word because of its politically inflammatory nature.

Along with the derivation in the form of the word, the meaning has evolved through the years. Originally referring to Okra, the slimy vegetable, now known best to inhabitants of New Orleans, the slimy part of the definition retained through the entire etymology. The Druids used a long-extinct version of okra as a fragrance-masking toilet paper, using their left hand for the job. This was quickly found to irritate the anal membranes, causing anal leakage, and was discarded in favor of corncobs, which had their own issues.

The word covvff then was originally used to describe a left-handed membrane-irritating battle between the ancestrally natural scent and an artificial cosmetic, which not only damaged the rectum, but also began a raging conflict with everything on the right hand, in those days devoid of the onerous task of butt wiping.

The Celts applied this epithet to a specific band of marauding tribesmen from a source that has been lost to history. They always attacked from the right, which made them fair game for anyone with an ounce of perception. This tribe was short-lived and was wiped out during the earliest reign of the Celts. The slightly evolved word covepk was briefly elevated to the realm of superstition. The mere mention of the word could allegedly cause any enemy to revert to the condition originally caused by the use of okra, causing oily discharge accompanying a preoccupation with bodily functions to the detriment of defense and self-preservation.

The Greeks hardly ever used their derivation of the word. Athlios, now meaning putrid replaced the briefly used “covlios” which was said to be uttered by anyone lacking any redemptive qualities, and appearing so repulsive as to cause nausea and appendicitis, on the right side of the body.

In Roman times, covlios devolved back to covvff, once the Romans ventured to the territory now referred to as the British Isles. They would stand on a bluff overlooking the mysterious Atlantic Ocean on the right, felt to be a bottomless abyss, and call out Covvff! to warn people of the dangers of sea serpents, and the dangers that lay in the ocean to the right.

Finally, the word, Covfefe, now archaic, came into its own in Holland. Unstable dykes, the type that holds water back from flooding…really… used to leak constantly until they failed completely. The ground around the dyke was always muddy, like quicksand and for some reason a favorite deposit ground for bat guano which is usually found in caves, gull droppings, and any animal unwise enough to venture into this swamp-like terrain, only to be swallowed up by the mud, the slime, and the noxious vapors emanating from the area.

 

REFERENCES:

Jonas Bigly, “The Art and Science of the Science of Art” 1932, Simon and Sheister.

“This I Can Tell You – The Big Deal Made Stupid” 1996, plagiarized from Robert Malthus and Digbe McGillicuddy-Schwartz.

Twitter… kind of a lot on there

The Essay: “Go Covfefe Yourself” Rolling Stone, 4-2010

Books by Kathy Young

Six stories for children ages 2 – 5. 
The graphics are not yet set, but here is a flavor, with the titles.

 Farfel, the Fat, Fluffy Cat –

Dreamed of the nine different lives that he could supposedly have,
only to realize that he was content just being a fat, fluffy, lazy cat.
This book targets age 3-6.

PARTIAL EXCERPT:

Farfel was a fluffy cat
Who had a big fat tummy.
He loved to eat all the time.
All food looked so yummy.

He would sit up in a window
Fluffy black and white, he sat
Thinking of who he could be
If he was not just a cat.

It is said that cats have nine lives
What could his turn out to be?
In this life he is a fat, fluffy cat
Too fat to climb a tree…


The Weasel who Caught the Measles –

Shares the lesson of how important it is to get childhood vaccines.

Brady Boy –

A boxer puppy dog living with the Youngs, has a very content life of going on walks,
cuddling, peeing and pooping.

Bob, the Bumble Bee –

Buzzily flies all around town, appreciating the beautiful flowers, trees,
and leaves in his environment, ending each glorious day in his bee hive.

Dottie, the Lady Bug –

Loves sunny days when she flies and crawls, looking for food
that she happily and readily shares with lots of other bugs.

Norbert the Barnyard Goat –

Without asking permission, ate everything in the farmer’s garden
without realizing the consequences of his actions.


Kathy Young

KATHY YOUNG is a credentialed K-8 teacher, having taught academics, as well as vocal music and guitar. She also works for the U.S, Dept of Education for The National Assessment of Educational Progress, also known as The Nation’s Report Card.  Kathy had the privilege of working with children, pre and post-operative in the hospitals of Kabul, Afghanistan and Solo Indonesia. Her six picture books appeal to the 2 – 5 year age group, all of which teach an important lesson in a funny and cute way. Because of their very visual quality, I believe that they would all present well as picture books.  Kathy is a wonderful storyteller and loves to read her stories to children.

Kathy is currently working on a young adult novel taking place at a haunted chateau in France, based on a personal experience.  She is the co-author, along with her husband, Gary Young, of the non-fiction book, Loss And Found – Surviving The Loss Of A Young Partner, which is used as supplemental reading at colleges throughout the country, for which she has done extensive media publicity.

Mortimer the Mortified Dragon

MORTIMER THE MORTIFIED DRAGON

by Gary Young

will be available here soon!

IT SEEMS

“IT SEEMS,” original book series by Gary Young, for children ages 3 – 7. Interactive story includes humor and opportunities for child and parent to act out certain parts of the story, and even solve some of the problems in the stories. “MORTIMER” is a play series for children.

…it seems, by Gary Young

An illustrated, interactive storybook for children
to be read aloud and acted out by parent and child.

For ages 3-9


IT SEEMS…carries on the oral tradition of the “Ole Sloppincabbage” fables,
created during the Depression.  There was no television and little radio, and people
relied on creativity and  imagination to carry them to places of interest, fun, and awe.
The best of these traditions included the family in an active way,
reading, listening, and creating the stories.
The stories can be a little different, or the same, each time they are read.
It depends on the moment.  Parent and child will enjoy playing with
Mr. Strabinsky (the dog), Ole Sloppincabbage, Luke, and the folks.
The stories are about silly problems for which the characters need a solution.
_____________________________

INTERACTIVE MODES:

1.
Read aloud.

2.
Specific portions are meant to be acted out by the parent and child,
but are written in such a way that the story can complete if the parent
or child are not comfortable acting out the portions.

3.

Solving the problem in the book.  The narrative provides for a
solution by the child.  If no solution comes, or if it is a solution
that does not work, the narrative handles this in a positive way
to insure a good outcome.

32 page hardcover book, with at least six books immediately ready.
_______________________________
SOME TITLES INCLUDE:
How do you get a dog out of a tree?
The popcorn eating contest.
Luke gets stuck in a hole.
Eddy Elephant’s Problem.
Luke finds something strange in his sandwich.
Mr. Strabinsky finds a cricket.
A very sticky Halloween.
Benny Bedpost has a booger.
The big, fat egg.
Peanut butter and Luke.
___________________________
Some of the Characters in …it seems

You! A major contributor to the successful outcome of many of the problems posed in these stories is the person to whom the story is being read. The narrative optionally enables the child to solve the problems in the story.

Ole Sloppincabbage & Luke: Both are dense but loyal and generous.   Always getting into silly predicaments. Luke is married to Phyllis Willis.  Sloppincabbage, whose real name is Willis Willis (Phyllis’ brother), is married to Trudy Streudel Doodle.

Mr. Strabinsky (Sloppincabbage’s dog): wears glasses because he has the eye condition, Strabismus.  Funny, affectionate, smart, a little sneezy.

Mary (age 8):  Sloppincabbage’s daughter, and loyal friend to Luke, very smart, fun-loving, good at solving problems.

Johnny Curbstone (age 8): Luke’s son. Good at listening, but not really plugged in.

Terwilliger: A business man who can sometimes be mean and sometimes be helpful (not always on purpose).

Nate Alwayslate

Bessy Fewclothes

Berkeley Bannanapeel

Waggle; his brother Wiggle

Mable Gatsky, mean lady

plus fifty-five other characters

IT SEEMS-Rough sample of one story

For more information about the stories and characters, please go to: it-seems.com.

“Slingshot,” by Gary Young, employs science fiction, strong character development, humor and innovation in a story about revenge, betrayal, and great plans that go awry where least expected, and come together in a way that is even less expected.

SLINGSHOT


Science Fiction driven strongly by plot and character development.

The year is 2099.  We have survived “population wars,” “water wars,” and technology has progressed beyond imagination, due to nano technology, bio-technology and genetic re-structuring. Some of the ripples from all of this, of course, could not be predicted.  Much of this technology is still classified, and human genetic re-structuring has already proven to be more of a hindrance than a help, and therefore has been outlawed. But human nature persists.  And curiosity has moved us deeply into the exploration of quantum physics and as SLINGSHOT presents it, plausible quantum fiction.

We have found a way to re-play our dreams to anyone who might want to view them.  Rudimentary contact with at least one other civilization millions of miles from Earth has not presented any serious conflicts with religion, nor have we been able to establish who the inhabitants are and it they still exist.  The potential life-span of a few chosen individuals has been lengthened to 150 useful years.

And we have seen the past in a way that no one had ever seen it before.  As observers – cameras only, no people.  It’s the law.  No human contact of any kind.

We have solved riddles, proved and disproved faith-based beliefs, and as unseen observers, we found Amelia Earhart and Judge Crater, among others.  This has filled in our knowledge of history, and as troubling as many of the discoveries have been, especially in the world of religion, knowledge can lead to a positive space, if you can get people to believe the facts.  But we are human, and we cannot leave it at that.  We have our own agendas, and next to the human trait of curiosity, revenge is a strong motivator.

Aaron and Tighe, a blind scientist, and his assistant join forces to perfect time travel for humans, not just cameras.  And as with any powerful force, corruption is probable, and never where you expect to find it.

A work in progress, not yet available for purchase.

The excerpt below is a little creepy, for sure.  This quirky novel often has a whimsical tone, especially in the interactions between the characters, and does get serious.   The story will be serialized in part on my blog very soon.

Excerpt from SLINGSHOT

GLIMMER THE BRIGHT MOONSHINE

Not your usual ghost story, but a ghost story for sure, with historical twists and turns.  The geography of the story spans forty years and takes us to Edinburgh, Paris, North Carolina, Mijas in Spain, Vancouver, Guanajuato, and Afghanistan, connecting the dots with strange occurrences, humor, lots of character development.  It’s easy reading, but not easy to put down.

Click here for an excerpt read by Gary Young at Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena – July 2011

Click here for another excerpt read by Gary Young at Vroman’s Bookstore – July 2012

HELP FOR WRITERS AND PUBLISHERS

INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING FOR WRITERS

OR PUBLISHERS.

Are you stumped?  Do you need a jump start or just some information about marketing your work?  Do you have a book that needs a title, distributor, cover art criticism, editing, agent, or anything else?  Email me and I’ll help you through the maze.

Contact me at: info@garyyoungunlimited dot com (you have to convert the “dot” to a real dot).

PANELS AND SEMINARS:


1.

PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION OF LOS ANGELES – OCTOBER 2011


OPTIMIZE YOUR SALES POTENTIAL: AMAZON FOR SMALL AND MIDSIZE PUBLISHERS

Monday, October 17, 2011

7:00 PM

 

 

Join us for a discussion of the resources and programs available for
enhancing your sales opportunities through Amazon. Here are just some
of the innovative programs and services we’ll be discussing that help
ensure your titles are available and discoverable to Amazon’s
customers: Print On-Demand, Publishing on Kindle, Author Pages and
Author Central, Search Inside the Book, and Amazon’s automated and
personalized merchandising programs (or “virtual” handselling). Learn
how to

– Ensure your books are always available, while avoiding unnecessary
inventory investment

– Help optimize the discoverability of your titles

– Maximize information about your work, as the metadata becomes
increasingly important for online selling

OUR SPEAKER

JON P. FINE is Director of Author and Publisher Relations for
Amazon.com, focusing on outreach to the author and publishing
communities, including Amazon’s author giving program for nonprofit
literary organizations (www.amazon.com/author-grants). He joined the
company as associate general counsel for media and copyright in
January 2006 and subsequently led business development for Brilliance
Audio following its acquisition by Amazon in 2007. Prior to Amazon,
he served as vice president and associate general counsel for Random
House, Inc., where he directed legal affairs for the Alfred A. Knopf
division as well as for Random House of Canada. He previously served
as Senior Media Counsel at NBC, handling content and associated issues
for NBC News, Saturday Night Live, and other divisions; as counsel at
King World Productions for Inside Edition and other programming; and
as a litigation associate at Debevoise & Plimpton, where he focused on
copyright, libel, Internet and other media-related matters. He is a
graduate of Cornell University and of the University of Virginia
School of Law. Following law school, he served as Judicial Clerk for
United States District Judge Sam C. Pointer, Jr.

DATE: Monday, October 17, 2011.
TIME: 7:00 p.m.
LOCATION: Felicia Mahood Senior Center
11338 Santa Monica Blvd., West L.A.
(About 3 blocks west of the 405. Parking
is available on the street or in the public
lot on the corner of Corinth and Iowa.)
NOTE: Entrance to the meeting is through the
Center’s parking lot on Corinth–the third
door into the building–past the black gate.

COST:

$5.00 for PALA members; $15.00 for
nonmembers. Advance admission can be purchased until the day before
the program with PayPal on our
website, found at the bottom of this notice: www.pa-la.org.QUESTIONS:Sharon Goldinger, Program Chair, pplspeak@att.net, 949-581-6190.

 

Join our FACEBOOK community. Visit us at: tinyurl.com/PALA-Facebook

Remember to visit our Web site for updates at www.pa-la.org.

CHILDREN’S THEATRE

MORTIMER THE MORTIFIED DRAGON

by Gary Young

will be available here soon!

LINKS

LOSS AND FOUND: How we Survived the Loss of a Young Partner (lossandfound.com)

IT SEEMS – for ages 3-8 (it-seems.com)

INDEPENDENT WRITERS OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (iwosc.org)

ALLIANCE OF LOS ANGELES PLAYWRIGHTS (laplaywrights.org)

PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION OF LOS ANGELES (pala.org)

INDEPENDENT BOOK PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION (ibpa-online.org)

DRAMATISTS GUILD OF AMERICA  (dramatistsguild.com)

BOOK PUBLICISTS OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (bookpublicists.org)

THEATRE COMMUNICATIONS GROUP (tcg.org)

LIVE CONSCIOUSLY NOW Publishing (liveconsciouslynow.com)

BLOGS FROM WRITERS AND PUBLISHERS:

http://theorganizedartistcompany.typepad.com/the_organized_artist_comp/

http://speakerscommunity.com/blog

http://elizaearsmanbooks.wordpress.com

www.drbillsaleebey.com

http://www.thebookdesigner.com

http://blog.ellensaravis.com/

http://brokenwholeblog.blogspot.com/p/home.html

http://alicerene.wordpress.com

FULL-LENGTH PLAYS

~~Renting monologues and plays~~


There is a delicate balance between community theatre, school, semi- professional, and professional.  It often pays to read a portion of the play to see if it fits into your needs.  After doing so, it is customary, and even legally required to honor copyright laws and pay the author a royalty for the use of his material.

Sometimes the line is a little blurry, and that might necessitate a conversation between the author and the theatre.  You’ll find that we’re very good at listening, and that we do not “hard-line” anything.  Our royalty rates are completely in keeping with the accepted norm, no more.

Occasionally a theatre or school invites the playwright to attend the opening performance or even lend his thoughts during rehearsal.  We are open to this, if schedules and budgets allow.

Royalty rates for monologues, ten-minute plays, one-act plays, and full-length plays will vary according to use, venue and the length of the play.

If you have further questions, I recommend emailing me specifically, and I’ll respond asap.  Please put PLAY INQUIRY in the subject line, so that my mail program does not think your note is spam.

Please email me at:  info@garyyoungunlimited dot com

For your convenience, I have a toll-free phone number as well, but it is hard to catch me:  866-238-2840.